Posted in Alter Ego: Many Faces of iHev

Alter Ego: Many Faces of iHev


Alter Ego: Many faces of iHev

“I hear the voices in my head they talk to me and I understand…(My Characters)”  My version on the Rev Theory lyrics


To entertain different personalities with different emotions.

Self talking to self, dealing with self, learning to become one’s self

Yet trying to accept the differences in ourselves.

Free to be me?  Which me is that am I free to be?

The mommy in me?  The one who has to be a good example in front of my children?  I can no longer be the me that I once was.  I despise the “do as i say and not as i do” so no… I can not be free to be me… because i must be the mommy they need me to be.

Free to be me?  Which me is that am I free to be?

The wife in me?  The one who must uphold my man in front of others even if i may not agree, but I’m not going to embarrass him in front of his friends.  I’m going to uphold him no matter what. I can no longer be the single to mingle me… because I’s married now so no that me is no longer me put it away and kill it because that part of me will never be again.

Free to be me? Which me is that am I free to be?

A writer?  Because i’m supposed to be free to be whoever i am and to write whatever it is that i want but if find all the other me’s fighting to get out because they want to be free too and they want their stories told for all to see and read and i fight them back…  beat them back down into my soul and tell them not yet.  The world is not yet ready to receive you because they wouldn’t understand.  Right now in my tiny little filled mind… you are one stars waiting to happen… stay there save in the confines of my mind until you are ready to blossom into five stars.

I never feel free.  I feel stifled and smothered to be the me that everyone needs or wants me to be.

“No! No! No!”  Mom would say.  A lady doesn’t do this or that so stay this way.  “Shhhhh!  Sit down and be quiet because people are watching!”  I listen and obey.  I sit that way she said and learn to contain my urges to run and play and do all types of flips and stop playing football with boys because now I’m a lady! And people are watching…

People are always watching and they see only what you don’t want them to see.  When I’m good and sitting like a lady… where are those people that watch and see?  But when I want to break out and be free to be me… then here comes all the eyes of people watching me!

Sit back down.  Be quiet so people can’t see.  Shhhh!  Quiet the emotions inside of me.  You don’t want people to see… Shhhhhhh…



(Disclaimer… this is for entertainment purposes only.  I don’t have multiple personality disorder.  I have full compassion and my heart and prayers go out to those who do.)